Undying Guilt
by Leeleechanlee
Summary: Matsuda can't help but feel guilty for all that took place in the Yellow Box warehouse. Despite his new life with Sayu, and everything good strolling his way, he feels that he is just not wordy... MatsudaxSayu Drabble. Tiny, tiny lemon on the side. Nothing big.


**Hey people, I don't know about you, but every time I submit here in , my stories sometimes don't show up for days, and sometimes I don't see the story I just updated in my list of stories already posted, same with messages/reviews... But... Anyways, must be a bug or something... Well here is a new story; enjoy. And please review; I'm having a lack of reviews, kind of makes things dull and sad... :( Warning, tiny tiny lemon section. Nothing big.**

**-Undying Guilt.**

The figure was fragile before him as he pinned her to the wall a bit harder again during another night of love making. Making Sayu's back arch at this sudden thrust came again from Matsuda. She could feel the drops of sweat drip down his spine, as she grabbed onto his back tighter. For some reason he always avoided her eyes, even when she was aware of what happened that night between her brother and him...

"Look at me Touta..." Sayu said, turning his face over to her direction.

Yet again tears... She disliked seeing him in this state. She din't want the man she loved so much to be feeling this way. It burned her inside. After so many times of seeing him in this position... She had told him it was okay, that her brother had his own goals like anyone else, and he had himself to blame.

"Touta... There is a thing in our brains called choice... My brother Light had that as well, you do too. You did what was the right choice to you, and for the people. You can't keep blaming yourself in this manner. I love you..." Sayu said with great honesty in her voice.

The same comfort over, and over from Sayu; Matsuda thought, but somehow it always a leaved him. He hugged her tight, not ever wanting to let go of her. She was so precious to him, and he could not imagine a life without her in it. She was beautiful within as she was outward.

That night they slept close to each other, warmth enveloped them, as they we're both in each others embrace.

...

The morning quickly was visible to Matsuda, as the sunlight peaked through to bother Matsuda's eyes. His eyes opened a bit, only to close them again. He was awake, but choosing to close his eyes to the brightness. He could hear the small clatter of dishes being washed, and the hum of the tv, and it's morning news. Matsuda opened his eyes again, hearing a familiar noise he always heard in the weekends. It was his and Sayu's son; curiously peeking inside the room at his still laying father. Matsuda smiled at this, and pretend to be in pain in his sleep.

"Ow... I can't take this pain in my chest...!" Matsuda cried, even thought it was not a complete lie, after Light's death, he was still causing people pain in the chest; including himself, severely...

"Dad...!" Soichiro rushed quickly to his father, who he thought was in physical pain.

"Got you!" Yelled Matsuda as he cradled his 6 year old in his arms, lifting him up, to hug him in his and Sayu's bed.

"Dad! That's not funny!" Soichiro wined, feeling frustrated and upset.

"It is when you fall for it more then once." Matsuda laughed, hugging his boy.

Both of they're attentions we're caught by another child. Identical to Soichiro's looks. Light... Soichiro's twin brother; and both Matsuda and Sayu's second son. Both boys we're named after people dear to them, people who'd they never forget; no matter what.

"Mom says she wants both of you downstairs for breakfast..." Light said, sounding tired. Still having trouble waking up apparently.

"Oh really! Come here you!" Matsuda called to his second son, pulling him by his left arm to hug him.

"Dad!" Light said a bit irritated at his father's sudden approach.

"I love you guys..." Matsuda said, hugging both boys in his arms.

...

Breakfast was buzzing alive as always. Sayu talking in her phone to her mother still cooking, the twins bickering over a soccer game they had earlier against each other, and Matsuda there, observing as he drank his coffee. This scene he always had the privilege of seeing always helped, but at the same time it hurt inside, because he knows that he was the one who killed the uncle his two sons would never see or meet... He was the one who killed the brother that could of been present at his sister's wedding, he was responsible for killing a friend... A son of Sachiko...But he had to keep reminding himself, he too would of been dead like his idol... Chief... Soichiro Yagami if he did not proceed with the killing. People would have to be ruled by a selfish child... One who apparently gained almost everything. If it was not for his interference. If it was not for the Task Force, the SPK, Near, Mello, everyone... He was not alone he realized. He was selfish to think he was the only one suffering. There we're others too. Especially his team members, his new family...

...

Matsuda prepared his vehicle. Sitting there in nothing but deep thought, but he was soon paralyzed in thought by the lips pressing against his. The lips he knew well; of the woman he loved.

"You've been quite all morning darling. I'm not loosing you am I?" Sayu asked nonchalantly.

"Uh! NO! No your not at all. You know that Sayu. I'll always be here for our family." Matsuda reassured.

"Good. Try not to think so much dear. Instead be alert. You know how it is with mom." Sayu chirped cheerfully, smacking another kiss onto her husband. Making the twins awake from they soccer bickering.

"Hey guys... Settle down...!" Matsuda pleaded, as he now drove with his family to go see Sachiko.

"You know Sayu. Despite all the hurt I feel, as long as my family is here with me, I can heal. I know I can. I have to let go. Because my love for you guys are greater then this guilt I feel." Matsuda said. One hand on the steering wheel, the other hand holding Sayu's.

This made Sayu smile, and hold the man she loved back.

**End.**

**I hope you liked it. As much as I did. It was fun to write after all. :) I don't own DN, but I do own the 2 ocs named after Light Yagami and Soichiro Yagami. ^^ Please Review... ^^;**


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